In a bit to kill time which seems so very hard to kill these days (cf. the law days when time never seem enough.), I borrowed some books from the lib.
The day before I had scared myself silly with the late Prof. Chao Tze Cheng's book "Murder is my business". No offence to the learned Prof whom we really have to thank for his excellent excellent work on dead bodies in his lifetime. I think he was so good, he's probably part of the reason why our courts rely so much on medical and forensic evidence instead of playing the main role in deciding related issues.
Anyway, that aside, today's read was something a lot lighter - this book called "Ludicrous Laws & Mindless Misdemeanors". I'm sure you can tell by the title that this book contains lawyerly jokes aplenty.
I'm halfway through the book, but there are some parts which I found quite amusing so I shall share with everyone hee.
1) "In New Mexico, it is a misendemeanor to sell imitation honey even if it is clearly labelled "imitation honey".- New Mexico Statutes, s. 25-9-3
"
2)"In Vermont it's illegal for vagrants to procure food by force. Does that mean if you have a good job and stable home life ... then legal? - Vermont Statutes s. 13-3906"
3)Behrens v. Bertram Mills Circus Ltd.
Facts: A "tame" circus elephant named Buffa was snapped at by the plaintiff's dog, which was not authorized to be on the premises. Buffa, chasing the dog (wa lao picture this happening..), knocked over a stall, thereby seriously injuring a midget(don't be shocked. It's the circus.) The defendant argued that his elephant was not of a savage disposition, and therefore shouldn't come under the strict liablity rule of injury from a ferae naurae (wild animal).
Held: As a matter of law, all elephants are dangerous.
Lord Devlin observed: "If a person wakes up in the middle of the night and finds an escaping tiger on top of his bed and suffers a heart attack, it would be nothing to the point that the intentions of the tiger were quite amicable."
4) Ok, this one's what everyone doing advocacy soon should attempt to do haha.
"A young man claiming damages for an arm injury caused by a bus driver's negligence was being cross-examined by British Barrister (and later member of Parliament) F. E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead (this is scary.. his name actually sounds familar.. hmmm.)"
LB: Please show us how high you can life your arm now.
The plaintiff, his face distorted in pain, slowly raised his arm to shoulder level.
LB: Thank you. And now, please show us how high you could life it before the accident.
The arm quickly shot straight up in the air.
Needless to say Birkenhead's client won the case. :)
5) Another instance of asking "correct" questions. (Actually I think it works only because the witness is erm dumb.)
Lawyer: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
Witness: No.
(Hahahaha...)
Well, that's all for today, if I cover anything else funny, I'll blog on ;)
